


Despacito

by JangJaeYul



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Crack, Kris is So Done, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 00:27:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12544700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JangJaeYul/pseuds/JangJaeYul
Summary: It starts, as things often do, with Chanyeol picking up a guitar. The rest is a full-on fiasco.XiuHan-ish, XiuBaek-but-not-really, Junmyeon is a Dad™ and everything is SeBaek's fault.





	Despacito

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Sacha and I were riffing on Twitter about what would happen if Kyungsoo and Chanyeol did a cover of Despacito. Apparently... it's this.

It starts, as things often do, with Chanyeol picking up a guitar.

At first he’s just fiddling around, fingerpicking chords of something that might be one of his compositions or might just be an improvisation. After a few minutes, though, it turns into a distinctive riff, and Kyungsoo launches up off the couch, because Chanyeol’s not the only one who can secretly practise something for months and then whip it out like he didn’t plan the whole thing.

“ _Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote,_ _  
_ _Tengo que bailar contigo hoy-_ ”

“Oh shit!” Baekhyun’s head pops up from behind his DS. “Kyungsoo’s got his Spanish on!”

Kyungsoo allows himself a grin, then closes his eyes and concentrates on articulating every word perfectly.

By the time he reaches the chorus, Jongdae is up and dancing.

“ _Despacito, quiero respirar tu cuello despacito-_ ”

“Work it, Chenny!”

Jongin laughs and smacks Sehun in the arm as Jongdae gyrates (not at all self-consciously, even though he probably should be).

Chanyeol hasn’t learned the lyrics, but he clearly knows enough to add in a “ _sube sube!_ ” every time Kyungsoo draws breath, and for a few minutes it’s a good duet, even if Kyungsoo’s rapping is slightly more lyrical than rhythmic.

Then Junmyeon bursts in.

“PASITO A PASITO-!”

“ _Ah, why?_ ” Jongdae smacks a hand over his face.

Kyungsoo keeps singing despite the chorus of groans and shouts of embarrassment as Junmyeon dads his way to the middle of the room and starts dropping it down.

“Sit down, Suho,” Baekhyun calls, “you’re gonna put your back out.”

If Junmyeon hears him he doesn’t acknowledge it, and as Kyungsoo approaches the next chorus everyone in the room seems to suddenly see what’s about to happen all at the same time.

“ _Des-_ ”

“Don’t do it, Suho-”

“ _-pa-_ ”

“Kim Junmyeon don’t you dare, I swear to god-”

“ _-cito._ ”

Junmyeon whips.

“ _Ahhhhh why are you like this?_ ”

“God dammit, Suho.”

Junmyeon turns around with a huge grin on his face like the whole room isn’t embarrassed to be seen with him.

“Yolo?” he offers.

“It’s not 2012,” Jongdae says, “no-one says yolo anymore.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun declares, “I’m salvaging this party. Minseok, dance with me.”

Minseok, seated in the corner and observing the whole scene with a grin, shakes his head.

“Come on,” Baekhyun insists, “we’ve still got one more chorus. Get up and shake your booty.”

Minseok shakes his head again, but his grin is wider now, and when Sehun tugs at his sleeve he slides off his bench and saunters over to Baekhyun in the centre of the room.

“Do that thing with your butt,” Baekhyun says, and just like that it’s like he’s activated Sexy Minseok.

“This thing?” Minseok swirls his hips.

“ _Yes, work it_.”

Jongin lets out a whoop as Minseok shakes his ass.

“ _Dang, Minseokkie!_ ”

Minseok laughs and shimmies harder. Baekhyun smacks his butt as he turns around, so Minseok wiggles in his direction. Next second, Baekhyun’s crotch is pressed against Minseok’s ass.

“Oh my god,” Minseok says, “what are you doing?”

“Grind with me, Minseok!”

“Nooo-”

“ _Yes_ , like they do in the music video!”

Baekhyun spins Minseok around and grabs his hips to pull him closer.

“You have no sense of personal boundaries,” Minseok complains, but his arms are around Baekhyun’s neck anyway, and they’re grinding so close that their belt buckles are clicking together.

“Let’s be real,” Baekhyun grins, “we’ve been in this group so long, we practically share the same body.”

Minseok laughs and throws his head back as Baekhyun’s hands move over his hips.

“ _Y que olvides tu apellido, despacito._ ”

Baekhyun spins Minseok and dips him as the whole group claps and cheers.

“Wow, you’re so sexy!” Jongdae cries.

Junmyeon claps Kyungsoo on the arm. “I didn’t know you knew that song. You know it’s about sex, right?”

Sehun is giggling at his phone, with Jongin peering over his shoulder.

“ _Awesome_.”

Minseok points a warning finger at the pair of them.

“That is _not_ going on your Insta, Sehun. If you show that video to _anyone_ , I will end you.”

“ _Pasito a pasito_ ,” Sehun chortles, wiggling his shoulders.

“I’m serious.”

“I won’t show it to anyone,” Sehun assures him, “I promise.”

-

“Send it to me,” Baekhyun says. “I just want to be able to see how sexy I am.”

“Okay.” Sehun hits _share_ , then looks up. “I guess it’s okay to send to the members, right? I mean, we were all there, so…”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Baekhyun agrees. “Except for Yixing, and he'll want to see it too. After all, we have to keep him in the loop, right?”

“Naturally.” Sehun scrolls down to find the group contact list.

“Don’t send it to Minseok, though,” Baekhyun says. “He’ll get self-conscious if he watches it.”

“That’s a good point.” Sehun unticks Minseok’s name and hits _send_. “Done.”

“Sweet, thank you!” Baekhyun walks out of the room, and Sehun throws his phone back on the desk.

-

Kris picks up his phone when it chimes.

“What the hell…?”

He hasn’t used this email account in years, but it’s still synced to his phone - and boy has that caught up with him in a weird way, because at the top of his screen is a notification.

_From: Oh Sehun_ _  
_ _Subject: sexy ;)_

Kris hesitates, then opens the attachment.

“… What the _absolute fuck_.”

At first he’s not quite sure what he’s watching. Then he realises it’s Minseok and Baekhyun dirty dancing in the practise room, apparently rubbing dicks while Kyungsoo serenades them.

“Am I supposed to take this as a wedding invitation or something?”

Kris shakes his head, deletes the email and shoves his phone back into his pocket.

-

“Pfft. Amateurs.”

Tao closes his emails and hands his phone to his assistant.

“I need to update my Instagram. Can you film me?”

-

Luhan watches the video with a lump in his throat.

He wants to cry, and at the same time feels guilty for it. Minseok is smiling, laughing in Baekhyun’s arms - he looks happy, and Luhan should feel happy for him, but he can’t help the tears that well up in his eyes at the thought that Minseok is happy with _someone else_. He’s moved on. The way Baekhyun is holding him is intimate, possessive, and even though in the back of his mind Luhan knows that Baekhyun is like that with everyone, he can’t convince himself to say the same of Minseok.

As much as it hurts to watch, though, Luhan can’t seem to tear his eyes away. Minseok may be dancing with someone else, but he’s still _dancing_ , and that has always been and will always be one of the hottest things on earth. Minseok’s hips move like they’re not even attached to his body, and every body roll sends a shiver down Luhan’s spine. If he squints, looks at the video at just the right slant, Baekhyun’s face disappears and Luhan can almost pretend _he’s_ the one dancing with Minseok.

He holds that fantasy in his mind as he turns on his webcam. He’s gotten into the habit of recording himself recently, for no particular reason. At first it was to see if his face really does that weird thing Minseok always used to say it did, then it was to time himself to see if he was lasting longer as he got fitter… now it’s just a habit more than anything. He hits record, rewinds the video on his phone and unzips his jeans.

He thinks about Minseok, imagines dancing like that with him. He lets his imagination play over the idea of Minseok grinding against him, rolling his hips, throwing his head back with laughter as Luhan’s hands stroke over his waist, grab his ass, pull him closer-

Luhan chokes back a sob as a tear splashes onto his hand. He knows he’s muttering under his breath, humming and whispering, but he’s not really paying attention to what he’s saying. It’s not important right now - what’s important is the fleeting image of Minseok in his arms, swaying against his body, letting Luhan undress him with kisses and relearn his body over and over and over-

Luhan cries out and buckles forward over his desk.

Afterwards, when he’s cleaned up and zipped back into his jeans, he opens his emails again. Lao Gao sometimes uses his computer, and Luhan doesn’t want him seeing these webcam sessions. If he emails the video to himself he can delete it from his hard drive and access it from the email server when he wants to watch it.

He attaches the email, hits send, and flops down onto his bed. It’s nap time.

-

“Mother of god.”

Baekhyun can see his own horrified expression reflected on Sehun’s face.

“Why- just… _why?_ ”

It’s awful and uncomfortable, but somehow they can’t bring themselves to look away. Sehun turns the volume down so no-one outside their room will hear, even though judging by the recipient list they all will have received it anyway.

_“Ooooh- *hic* oOOoooh-”_

“He must have hit _reply all_ ,” Baekhyun murmurs. “Poor fucker.”

_“I’m just tryna get you in the- *sniff* m- moooooood-”_

“Wow.” Sehun shakes his head. “This is horrifying.”

_“Oooh- oooOOoh- M- Minnie just show me what it- *hic* what it dooo-”_

“What nightmare hath god wrought?” Baekhyun whispers.

“He sent this to everyone,” Sehun says.

“Everyone except Minseok,” Baekhyun nods. “Which is unfortunate. I’m pretty sure he’s the only one who wouldn’t be permanently scarred by this.”

“I dunno about that,” Sehun says. “I don’t think even Minseok wants to see Luhan having a sad fap.”

“You’re right. Let’s never speak of this again.”

“Agreed.”

-

It’s been a weird week. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary has happened, but for some reason no-one will meet Minseok’s eyes and he can’t work out why. At first he thought it had something to do with the video that popped up on Tao’s instagram of him twerking to _Despacito_ \- but everyone shrugged it off as a coincidence, even if the timing was slightly unnerving. Still, it’s something more than that. Something is wrong, but he can’t put his finger on what it is. Rooms clear when he walks into them; dinner time is uncomfortably quiet. Minseok has basically been living in isolation, and it’s more than a little unnerving.

He’s still racking his brain trying to figure out what he’s done wrong when Yixing arrives home that Saturday night.

“Yixing!” Jongdae cries, bouncing up from the couch.

“I’m so glad we’re close enough that we can share our most intimate moments like this!” Yixing declares.

It’s a weird sort of hello, but Minseok smiles anyway and gets up to go hug him.

“That was an interesting video Luhan sent, huh?” Yixing continues, and Minseok stops.

“… Video? Luhan- _what?_ ”

“We’ve grown so close as a family, there are no such thing as secrets anymore. I’m _so proud_.”

Minseok turns around to see if anyone else is as confused as he is and finds Baekhyun standing right behind him, his hand halfway across his throat in an unmistakable _no-stop-shut-up_ gesture.

“No secrets, huh?” Minseok narrows his eyes. “Really?”

-

Baekhyun takes it on himself to explain, even though it was really Sehun’s fault. He tells Minseok about how he asked for the video, how Sehun decided to send it to the whole group, how he accidentally used an old email list and sent it to Luhan, Kris and Tao as well.

“That explains Tao’s Instagram video,” Minseok says, “but it doesn’t explain why everyone has been avoiding my eyes all week.”

“Well…” Baekhyun pauses to wring his hands together. “Luhan sort of… responded. With a video.” The look on Minseok’s face makes him really wish he could stop talking. “A rather personal video. Of himself…” he stops, gulps, takes a deep breath, “jerking it. To you.”

Minseok’s eyes widen, and just for a second he doesn’t look quite so mad. Then his expression hardens again, and he holds out his hand.

“Give it to me.”

Baekhyun gapes. “What?”

“The video,” Minseok demands. “I want to see it.”

“You- _really?_ ”

“Well, it was about me, wasn’t it? I have a right to know.”

“Yeah, but-”

The look on Minseok’s face stops him, and Baekhyun scrabbles to fish his phone out of his pocket. He opens the video and hands it to Minseok.

Minseok watches it with a stony expression, completely still and unmoved even as Luhan chokes on his name through the speakers. It’s possibly the most awkward five minutes in their entire history as a group, and that includes the time Baekhyun jimmied open Kyungsoo’s shower to find him already sharing it with Jongin.

When the video finishes, Minseok hands the phone back to Baekhyun, then wallops him on the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“This is your fault,” Minseok says, then smacks Sehun too. “Even more yours.” He turns around and hits Jongdae as well for good measure. “That’s for laughing.” With that, he turns on his heel and storms off into his room, slamming the door behind him.

“ _Wewww_ ,” Jongin breathes. “He’s furious.”

Yixing looks stricken. “Was that my fault?”

“No, no,” Baekhyun rushes to reassure him. “It was Sehun’s.”

“How long do you think it will take him to stop hating us?” Jongdae wonders.

“A long time,” Junmyeon says. “Maybe forever.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, but inside he’s worried Junmyeon might be right. There was something in Minseok’s eyes that frightened him a little bit, and Baekhyun isn’t quite sure what to make of it.

They sit down, quiet and subdued, to try and salvage the evening while they wait for Minseok to hopefully stop sulking and come out of his room.

Ten minutes later there’s a simultaneous chime from every phone in the room. Baekhyun already has his phone in his hand and unlocked before he realises what that means and freezes.

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh no,” Chanyeol echoes, then recoils from his phone as it loads. “Oh, _no_.”

_“Lu-ge… ah- ohhh-”_

“WHY DID HE SEND THIS TO EVERYONE?”

-

Five thousand miles away, Kris throws his phone off the Lions Gate Bridge.


End file.
